paleillgirl (paleillgirl) wrote in automaticwriter,

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In-psychosis automatic writing.

I wrote this fully automatically, it just flowed straight onto the page in seconds without any thought whatsoever. I was in psychosis at the time, and I felt my automatic writing was coming from my guiding angel, who was also my soul mate. I asked for a poem and this is what I "was given". It's not strictly a "word salad" style of poem, but it is genuinely automatic:

Life is for living
Not boiling in hate.
So asking the living
Why is there no gate?
Am I living near it?
Is there a way out?
To leave is to live it
And say I have doubt.

My doubt is quite ebbing
And flowing like tides
I ebb till I'm safe
Then I flow till I'm right by your side.

I took my meanings from it differently at various stages of my psychosis and my recovery. It still has meaning to me, and still feels as though it wasn't written by me.
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Nice, I saved nothing from my psychosis. Not even sure I wrote much during it all. Hugs!

I had lots of these spontaneous verses, this was just my favourite. Every psychosis is unique, I like the differences as much as I'm interested in the similarities.